Licence to swill

OK, first up my apologies for the ropey rhyming attempt in the subject, but for those of you who, like me, were having a much treasured Saturday night on the sofa last night you may well understand my need to mention what was aired.

Ooer, I feel like I should be on Points of View. "Dear Terry, Why oh why...Yours, Annoyed of Armley". I've never written in to POV but have had letters published in Cosmo and Radio Times - one was about an article entitled 'In Praise of Bossy Mothers' and the other was about a wonderful edition of Parky which featured the fabulous Mr Stephen Fry and Robin Williams and highlighted the wide spectrum that we call comedy.

I think this is the one weekend in the year when no-one wants to go out and therefore a struggle for a few of my friends whose birthdays are around this time, so most plan for something another time now. I also struggle as mine is two days after Valentine's Day so I have to get in early so that people can plan their romance for another night. Saturday 16th Feb, don't forget people!

Anyway, back to last night...

Goodness me, what on Earth was that all about?!

Something like the worst ever auditions for 'Stars in their Eyes' packaged up into a programme, that is now going to be dragged out over seven weeks for our 'entertainment'. Golly. And then the overall winner (who is the best at copying someone else's style) gets to perform in a live nightly show in Las Vegas. Gosh. I made it to the choosing of the Rod Stewart but could bear no more after that.

All I can say is I'm very grateful for recent gems such as 'Cranford', 'Fanny Hill', 'Oliver Twist' and 'Sense & Sensibility' (no, I didn't think we were ready for new adaptations of the latter two either but I was very wrong - wonderful stuff. Cranford - delightful. Nuff said.) and that I never make sweeping generalisations based on a few misjudgements. We're only human after all. Someone somewhere thought that 'The One And Only' was a great idea for a post-Christmas show and sometimes the oddest ideas pay off. Look at 'Dancing on Ice' or even Strictly.

I do happen to love the BBC and most of what it produces (and not just because I have a regular slot on Radio Leeds!), so this is a minor blot on a usually otherwise lovely landscape for me.

However, when Leah and I went to see Pinocchio a few weeks ago I got to thinking what a desperately sad job it must be to be a full-time critic (TV, art, food, anything really). We were sat next to a chap who was making notes so I shall assume for argument's sake was a theatre critic (it was the World Premiere after all). Now, apart from the fact that he well and truly nodded off for a bit so his review of the first act will have been - shall we say - patchy, it struck me that it must not be a very nice way to make a living. Constantly looking for the bad, rather than the good, in things.

I like to think that my glass is half full, and I know not all critics are the same, but most reviews I read seem to highlight the flaws, mistakes and imperfections in things.

Again, we're only human.

Speaking of TV critics - very tenuous link I know - did I tell you about the time I saw Richard Arnold (of GMTV-fame) in Amsterdam? It was quite early on a Saturday morning and because me and my fellow run clubbers were taking part in the marathon or half marathon (I was doing the half, which was followed by the full marathon a month or so later in New York) the day after, I hadn't had my usual two G&Ts before boarding the plane. I was also a little delirious from lack of sleep as I had to get up very early for the flight.

So, picture the scene, Rich "cool as a cucumber" Ribeiro leans in to me and quietly says "is that bloke on TV?". I, now face to face with the lovely Mr Arnold, shout "Oh my God" at him. Then (oh yes it gets worse) shout after him "I love you Richard". To which Mr Arnold very kindly waved. Poor fella, he looked a little shocked to say the least.

As my dear little sister said it was one of those defining moments. The one when she realised her big sister would never be cool. Hey, it's not like I've ever pretended to be is it?!

The point I'm making - very loosely I grant you - is that it is possible to see the good in things, people and places, wherever you look.

I don't for a minute think that being a critic is the worst job in the world - my career history includes some ropey jobs such as working in a call centre and a frozen food shop, being a waitress and bar maid and selling advertising in a local newspaper, and they are like holidays in Disneyland compared to what some people do for a living - just that it's not my cup of tea or my natural way to look for the bad.

We all mess up and make mistakes. After all, wouldn't life be totally boring if we were perfect.

Yours imperfectly

Clancy xxxx

p.s. Anyone know 'owt about antiques - or someone that does - it's for this play I'm writing and I just need someone to answer a couple of questions related to pottery (oh dear, is that even the correct term - back to Google for a bit I think). Anyway, if you do please let me know.

Resolution revolution

I've got the best idea ever for New Year's resolutions - make them when slightly tipsy on New Year's Eve and then you can't even remember them come January 1st!

I do remember mine was slightly profound, naturally [wink], but will have to check with my NYE companions tomorrow as to what it was before I decide whether or not I shall stick to it.

So, I've now got my first two radio slots under my belt - so far so good I think.

Funnily enough talking isn't a problem for me, and neither is finding new and interesting or just downright random events to talk about - Friday's slot included discussions about the 'Secrets of the Saucy Seaside Postcard' exhibition at Dewsbury Museum, good old naughty British humour at its best eh?! Apparently Bamforth & Co who produced the best-known postcard art were based in lovely Holmfirth, you may have known this, but I didn't. Every day is a school day.

We also chatted about ice skating (not a natural talent of mine) and skiing (I'm not bad but haven't been for many years) and the fact that I am having lessons in both very soon - I'm nothing if not a tryer (or trying) - so can promise some laughs to be had at the Ice Cube in Millenium Square and at Xscape at Castleford. Again, shame is not something I have a problem with (as my NYE companions can also testify after my very ropey rendition of Patsy Cline's 'Crazy' in the pub last night too - I blame the acoustics, I usually sound so good!).

Other winter wonderland offerings on at the moment include yet another opportunity to relive my childhood at the theatre, thanks to a brand new production of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe at the West Yorkshire Playhouse - just fabulous. I read a while back that someone actually phoned them to see if they would be having a real lion, AND then sounded slightly miffed to be told they weren't. The Playhouse team do push boundaries and take risks with their productions, which pay off, but I think they have limits.

I'll have a regular day and time sorted for my slot soon hopefully so will let you all know when to tune in - you can listen online for those out of the area, just visit www.bbc.co.uk/leeds.

I will need lots more info on what's on in West Yorkshire so please do keep me posted.

So, what will your year bring? Everything you wish for and more I hope, but one step at a time. I'm talking to myself as much as anyone else here of course, gently does it.

Wrap up warm, keep safe and I'll be back very soon.

Clancy xxxx