Licence to swill

OK, first up my apologies for the ropey rhyming attempt in the subject, but for those of you who, like me, were having a much treasured Saturday night on the sofa last night you may well understand my need to mention what was aired.

Ooer, I feel like I should be on Points of View. "Dear Terry, Why oh why...Yours, Annoyed of Armley". I've never written in to POV but have had letters published in Cosmo and Radio Times - one was about an article entitled 'In Praise of Bossy Mothers' and the other was about a wonderful edition of Parky which featured the fabulous Mr Stephen Fry and Robin Williams and highlighted the wide spectrum that we call comedy.

I think this is the one weekend in the year when no-one wants to go out and therefore a struggle for a few of my friends whose birthdays are around this time, so most plan for something another time now. I also struggle as mine is two days after Valentine's Day so I have to get in early so that people can plan their romance for another night. Saturday 16th Feb, don't forget people!

Anyway, back to last night...

Goodness me, what on Earth was that all about?!

Something like the worst ever auditions for 'Stars in their Eyes' packaged up into a programme, that is now going to be dragged out over seven weeks for our 'entertainment'. Golly. And then the overall winner (who is the best at copying someone else's style) gets to perform in a live nightly show in Las Vegas. Gosh. I made it to the choosing of the Rod Stewart but could bear no more after that.

All I can say is I'm very grateful for recent gems such as 'Cranford', 'Fanny Hill', 'Oliver Twist' and 'Sense & Sensibility' (no, I didn't think we were ready for new adaptations of the latter two either but I was very wrong - wonderful stuff. Cranford - delightful. Nuff said.) and that I never make sweeping generalisations based on a few misjudgements. We're only human after all. Someone somewhere thought that 'The One And Only' was a great idea for a post-Christmas show and sometimes the oddest ideas pay off. Look at 'Dancing on Ice' or even Strictly.

I do happen to love the BBC and most of what it produces (and not just because I have a regular slot on Radio Leeds!), so this is a minor blot on a usually otherwise lovely landscape for me.

However, when Leah and I went to see Pinocchio a few weeks ago I got to thinking what a desperately sad job it must be to be a full-time critic (TV, art, food, anything really). We were sat next to a chap who was making notes so I shall assume for argument's sake was a theatre critic (it was the World Premiere after all). Now, apart from the fact that he well and truly nodded off for a bit so his review of the first act will have been - shall we say - patchy, it struck me that it must not be a very nice way to make a living. Constantly looking for the bad, rather than the good, in things.

I like to think that my glass is half full, and I know not all critics are the same, but most reviews I read seem to highlight the flaws, mistakes and imperfections in things.

Again, we're only human.

Speaking of TV critics - very tenuous link I know - did I tell you about the time I saw Richard Arnold (of GMTV-fame) in Amsterdam? It was quite early on a Saturday morning and because me and my fellow run clubbers were taking part in the marathon or half marathon (I was doing the half, which was followed by the full marathon a month or so later in New York) the day after, I hadn't had my usual two G&Ts before boarding the plane. I was also a little delirious from lack of sleep as I had to get up very early for the flight.

So, picture the scene, Rich "cool as a cucumber" Ribeiro leans in to me and quietly says "is that bloke on TV?". I, now face to face with the lovely Mr Arnold, shout "Oh my God" at him. Then (oh yes it gets worse) shout after him "I love you Richard". To which Mr Arnold very kindly waved. Poor fella, he looked a little shocked to say the least.

As my dear little sister said it was one of those defining moments. The one when she realised her big sister would never be cool. Hey, it's not like I've ever pretended to be is it?!

The point I'm making - very loosely I grant you - is that it is possible to see the good in things, people and places, wherever you look.

I don't for a minute think that being a critic is the worst job in the world - my career history includes some ropey jobs such as working in a call centre and a frozen food shop, being a waitress and bar maid and selling advertising in a local newspaper, and they are like holidays in Disneyland compared to what some people do for a living - just that it's not my cup of tea or my natural way to look for the bad.

We all mess up and make mistakes. After all, wouldn't life be totally boring if we were perfect.

Yours imperfectly

Clancy xxxx

p.s. Anyone know 'owt about antiques - or someone that does - it's for this play I'm writing and I just need someone to answer a couple of questions related to pottery (oh dear, is that even the correct term - back to Google for a bit I think). Anyway, if you do please let me know.