Hmm, so easy to say, isn't it? But not always easy to do, especially at this time of year.
Autumn is most definitely my favourite season, but even I find it difficult to get going on cold, dark, wet evenings (and soon mornings - yuck), so I think now is also a great time to work out what makes you happy. And then do it more often.
My change in lifestyle has meant I've spent quite a bit of time working out what makes me happy recently. Or, put another way, I've worked out that there were certain things I only enjoyed doing because I was having a drink - and that's no recipe for happiness is it?!
Take bar crawls for example - something I've been doing since I was 15. Girls definitely have the 'advantage' on boys on that one and thanks to a bit of make-up our drinking habits often start much younger, in pubs at least.
I remember once getting on a bus and paying 'a half' and then seeing a barmaid from one of the pubs on the local 'drag'. When I tried to get served that Saturday she politely refused and said I would have to make a choice - half fares or half pints! OK, so I made the last bit up myself, as a bit of poetic licence, y'know, but that was the gist of what she said!
Anyway, I realised recently that bar crawls - particularly in noisy, sweaty bars where you can't get a seat - are not something that makes me happy. Yes I love going out with my lovely friends, but when I go out I like to talk to people, play pub games, do pub quizzes.
And before you say it's a sign of getting older, I promise you I've always been like that. And I'm pretty sure that drinking has been something I've done to relieve boredom or social discomfort. Again, not exactly the recipe for happiness either!
Having been both comfortably off in the past and, more recently, not so comfortably off, I've also realised that money doesn't make you happy. But the lack of it can certainly make you unhappy.
And I bet there's a bunch of Scouse IT workers who would disagree with me right now (if any one of them would like to get in touch to do so, I am single!) I'm sure, but it doesn't last. Things only last and are worth having if you've worked hard for them, I find.
Sometimes things are worth waiting for that will make you happy, too. Either in the short-term or long. Even if it's something as simple as getting your lazy arse (and that's me I'm talking to there) off the sofa and heading out for a run, swim or training session at the gym. Yes it might be a bit grim in the getting there, but it's always, always worth it in the end.
I am most definitely a hedonist, not a sadist, but sometimes it can be nice to go through a bit of pain to know that the pleasure is on its way, and for me the best bits of a run are the hot shower and big feed afterwards.
Food is definitely something I get a lot of pleasure from, as is sleep. But do you know what, both are much more satisfying if you've worked hard to earn them, aren't they?
A couple of books I've been reading recently have some great advice about both. The first is from 'Never hit a jelly fish with a spade. How to survive life's smaller challenges.' By Guy Browning, and is about sleep:
"Sleep is like the M25 in that having it is vital and everyone can't wait to get off. The trouble is, the harder you try, the less likely you are to get off to sleep. The trick is to try really hard at whatever it is you do during the day. This has the double benefit of tiring you out and lessening whatever it is you worry about."
Sometimes the best advice is the most simple, ain't it?!
Another book I bought recently is 'Aunt Epp's Guide for Life. From chastity to copper kettles, musings of a Victorian Lady.' By Elspeth Marr, edited by Christopher Rush.
It's a cracking read and contains all sorts of marvellous advice about love, sex, childbirth, cracked nipples, work, cooking and how to relieve constipation, so I reckon if you buy that you may never need another self-help manual again as there's not much more to life, is there?! She has some very sage advice, and was definitely before her time. I only wish I could have met her, particularly when she shares such pearls of wisdom as:
"Work. It may be Adam's curse, but it is Eve's also and you are part of it. Why complain? An animal must hunt. If you do not work, you have no right to eat."
And without getting well and truly on my soapbox here, I reckon it's an attitude like that which is missing from today's society, don't you?
I bought the latter read as part of a review I was asked to do on the lovely Graham Liver's show on Radio Leeds a couple of months ago. It fitted in nicely with the 'Make, Bake & Grow' event back in October as I was asked to look into a raft of 'revival' self-help books, Aunt Epp's offering being just one.
I've been pretty much addicted to self-help books in the past and have an 'impressive' collection, alright, but have now realised that reading a book isn't going to make me happy, but working hard will. Graham agreed and said if there's any good to have come out of the recession it's that people have changed their ideas about what makes us happy. I said it might not have been fun at times, but being skint has done wonders for my carbon footprint.
And that's what it's all about, for me, anyway. Do things that make you feel good - and not always things for yourself as it's very easy to feel good about doing things for others - surround yourself with people who make you happy, eat food that makes you smile, tire yourself out and enjoy the sleep afterwards.
Which is where I'm heading now.
Wishing you lots of happiness,
Clancy xxxx
