Thursday, 12 November 2009

Don't worry, be happy...




Hmm, so easy to say, isn't it? But not always easy to do, especially at this time of year.

Autumn is most definitely my favourite season, but even I find it difficult to get going on cold, dark, wet evenings (and soon mornings - yuck), so I think now is also a great time to work out what makes you happy. And then do it more often.

My change in lifestyle has meant I've spent quite a bit of time working out what makes me happy recently. Or, put another way, I've worked out that there were certain things I only enjoyed doing because I was having a drink - and that's no recipe for happiness is it?!

Take bar crawls for example - something I've been doing since I was 15. Girls definitely have the 'advantage' on boys on that one and thanks to a bit of make-up our drinking habits often start much younger, in pubs at least.

I remember once getting on a bus and paying 'a half' and then seeing a barmaid from one of the pubs on the local 'drag'. When I tried to get served that Saturday she politely refused and said I would have to make a choice - half fares or half pints! OK, so I made the last bit up myself, as a bit of poetic licence, y'know, but that was the gist of what she said!

Anyway, I realised recently that bar crawls - particularly in noisy, sweaty bars where you can't get a seat - are not something that makes me happy. Yes I love going out with my lovely friends, but when I go out I like to talk to people, play pub games, do pub quizzes.

And before you say it's a sign of getting older, I promise you I've always been like that. And I'm pretty sure that drinking has been something I've done to relieve boredom or social discomfort. Again, not exactly the recipe for happiness either!

Having been both comfortably off in the past and, more recently, not so comfortably off, I've also realised that money doesn't make you happy. But the lack of it can certainly make you unhappy.



And I bet there's a bunch of Scouse IT workers who would disagree with me right now (if any one of them would like to get in touch to do so, I am single!) I'm sure, but it doesn't last. Things only last and are worth having if you've worked hard for them, I find.

Sometimes things are worth waiting for that will make you happy, too. Either in the short-term or long. Even if it's something as simple as getting your lazy arse (and that's me I'm talking to there) off the sofa and heading out for a run, swim or training session at the gym. Yes it might be a bit grim in the getting there, but it's always, always worth it in the end.

I am most definitely a hedonist, not a sadist, but sometimes it can be nice to go through a bit of pain to know that the pleasure is on its way, and for me the best bits of a run are the hot shower and big feed afterwards.

Food is definitely something I get a lot of pleasure from, as is sleep. But do you know what, both are much more satisfying if you've worked hard to earn them, aren't they?

A couple of books I've been reading recently have some great advice about both. The first is from 'Never hit a jelly fish with a spade. How to survive life's smaller challenges.' By Guy Browning, and is about sleep:

"Sleep is like the M25 in that having it is vital and everyone can't wait to get off. The trouble is, the harder you try, the less likely you are to get off to sleep. The trick is to try really hard at whatever it is you do during the day. This has the double benefit of tiring you out and lessening whatever it is you worry about."

Sometimes the best advice is the most simple, ain't it?!

Another book I bought recently is 'Aunt Epp's Guide for Life. From chastity to copper kettles, musings of a Victorian Lady.' By Elspeth Marr, edited by Christopher Rush.



It's a cracking read and contains all sorts of marvellous advice about love, sex, childbirth, cracked nipples, work, cooking and how to relieve constipation, so I reckon if you buy that you may never need another self-help manual again as there's not much more to life, is there?! She has some very sage advice, and was definitely before her time. I only wish I could have met her, particularly when she shares such pearls of wisdom as:

"Work. It may be Adam's curse, but it is Eve's also and you are part of it. Why complain? An animal must hunt. If you do not work, you have no right to eat."

And without getting well and truly on my soapbox here, I reckon it's an attitude like that which is missing from today's society, don't you?

I bought the latter read as part of a review I was asked to do on the lovely Graham Liver's show on Radio Leeds a couple of months ago. It fitted in nicely with the 'Make, Bake & Grow' event back in October as I was asked to look into a raft of 'revival' self-help books, Aunt Epp's offering being just one.

I've been pretty much addicted to self-help books in the past and have an 'impressive' collection, alright, but have now realised that reading a book isn't going to make me happy, but working hard will. Graham agreed and said if there's any good to have come out of the recession it's that people have changed their ideas about what makes us happy. I said it might not have been fun at times, but being skint has done wonders for my carbon footprint.

And that's what it's all about, for me, anyway. Do things that make you feel good - and not always things for yourself as it's very easy to feel good about doing things for others - surround yourself with people who make you happy, eat food that makes you smile, tire yourself out and enjoy the sleep afterwards.

Which is where I'm heading now.

Wishing you lots of happiness,

Clancy xxxx

Monday, 2 November 2009

My favourite time of year...


I've said it before, but I'll quite happily say it again:

I LOVE AUTUMN!

Harvest Festivals, Halloween, Bonfire Night, the crispness in the air, brown leaves to kick, Diwali, comfort food, not feeling boring for staying in, jumpers, hats, coats, scarves, gloves, boots, wellies - I could go on, but you get the idea!

I've been spending some time thinking about the significance of this time of year recently, ever since I volunteered to write something to read at the Diwali celebrations at my meditation centre (Brahma Kumaris - link to the right), so I thought I'd share this piece "what I wrote" with you lovely lot. I hope you like it...

"As the days get shorter, and the nights get longer we are naturally drawn towards bringing light into our homes. Candles are lit, lights decorate our windows, and soon we will bring trees into our homes and decorate them with lights too.

We do this to remind ourselves that things will get lighter again, and that autumn and winter is a time for renewal and revival, not decline. The world and universe, like the seasons, is on an ever-moving cycle.

Dark becomes light, brown becomes green. Like us, the world needs time to rest and revive. Time to recuperate and grow new shoots, ready to spring to life again.

Darkness is not something to be afraid of, it is a sign that things will get light again.

We are drawn towards bringing light into our homes, because lightness is one of our original qualities. It feels safe, natural and comforting. It is because lightness is something we have always known; and - no matter how hard it seems to imagine sometimes – we can trust that we will come to know it again.

Lightness is one of the qualities of a child - that eternal optimism and hope that is a joy to be around. We never lose this quality, or our inner child. This evening is a time to celebrate our inner lightness. Our lightness of being – both physical and mental – is always there. Where there is darkness, we can, as we do this evening, light a candle to remind us of this.

Om Shanti"


Om Shanti means "I am peace" or "I am a peaceful soul", by the way. I still have my moments, but I'm getting there!

Enjoy the rest of autumn - I'm always up for a kick around in some leaves, so you know where I am if you fancy the same!

Clancy xxxx

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Label of love?






Labels, labels everywhere and not a stop to think... do you like that one too?

I do, but then I've spent a bit of time being quite proud of myself recently for many reasons and it's never good to congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself too much either - perhaps the latter is more important, though.

So, down to business...

What's in a label? What's in a name? I've covered names before, but at the risk of repeating myself,I believe ones name is incredibly important - part of your personal brand, as it were - and if you don't like it, change it. Only you can decide what you want people to call you. The same, I think, goes for labels.

Of course there are those of the fashion variety and I speak as the owner of a gorgeous Mulberry handbag which cost nearly as much as my monthly mortgage payment (but nearly two years on the 'cost per use' means it's now practically free!), but also as a girl who is wearing an outfit consisting of five quid pumps from Dunnes, a dress my Mum was given for a charity car boot and a shrug I bought on Ebay.

So, labels aren't really important to me. Or so I thought...

You can choose to change labels - or, even better, not apply them in the first place - to lots of things including people, places, things and of course yourself. But the last one on that list is something I've struggled with. However, today things have changed, including a label I previously had, and now don't! Yippee!

It's now down to me to discover or uncover why I was so hung up about said label, and I needed to get rid of it to really do that. Now I can find out why.

I certainly don't have all the answers - nor would I ever want to - this is a journey, ain't it people?



So, whoo whoo, the 'Clancy Express' is leaving this station, and on to the next. What's very different is that this time I'm learning how to apply the breaks, slow down, take in the views. And do you know what, I think I'm back on track too!

Can I be one of your train's passengers too, please?!

Peace and love, peace and love!

Clancy xxxx

p.s. this Mulberry bag is not mine, for those who don't know, I just like it. But I won't be buying it - one Mulberry is enough for me - and I defer to the wisdom of Mary Poppins on this: "Enough is as good as a feast"!

Sunday, 23 August 2009

Good luck...?



Hmmm, what do you think if someone says this to you? I'd love it if one of you lovely lot would like to post a comment to let me know, but for now, I'll tell you what I used to think...

"Stick your good luck, I make my own luck, thank you very much!". Now, that's not very nice, is it?! Or grateful. Or understanding. Or sensitive.

I guess it's another one of my - slightly misguided - former beliefs. A misinterpretation, if you will, of one of the greatest quotes, from one of the greatest men. It's often wrongly credited to Albert Einstein or Abraham Lincoln. But the man who actually said it was Thomas Jefferson, the third president of the United States of America.

Now, it's not for me to write here about his achievements, however much of a card-carrying plagiarist I admit to being, so if you don't know that much about him, or would like to refresh your memory, then just Google him. You'll find everything you need to know there - particularly his role in the Declaration of Independence and the Louisiana Purchase. I hope that, regardless of your views on American Imperialism, you will, like me, think he was a great man. But you can, of course, decide for yourselves...

Oh yeah, nearly forgot, the quote is "I'm a great believer in luck. The harder I work, the more I find I have of it."

Rather interestingly, someone, who shall remain nameless (for now), reckoned he came up with this, when I mentioned it in a meeting several years ago. But this is also the same person who said that "The greatest tragedy in the world is that Ryan Giggs wasn't born a few miles further east." Which I've written about before on here somewhere, so won't re-tell that story, although it's a good 'un!

But yes, I can definitely confirm it was Thomas Jefferson 'what said it first'. And I think I get it, now. I shall close this, seemingly rather random, post with a picture of a place I'd like to visit one day (I think it says more about the US than even Ellis Island, which is also ace, and I've been there).



And of course, by wishing you good luck! Even if it's just for learning to relax...

For now I'm off to run some errands, and then for a walk with the lovely Joanna. We're only going around Tong Village, but if I don't post within the next few days, please send out a search party, as I'm not rating our chances much!

Clancy xxxx

p.s. My dear Nana used to carry a four leaf clover in her purse. I'm not sure who got that - Jonks got the dominoes, I got the writing bureau - I suspect it's probably lost now. But I get that too, now.

Friday, 21 August 2009

"Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare?"!...



OK, so it's a Friday. But, to be fair, it's not like my usual Fridays...

For one, I made the decision not to go to the JCI Networking event at the City Inn yesterday evening as I was properly bushed. But my Thursday featured many good things, including a brief from a client for a major new and exciting project and a fabulous meeting with Breast Cancer Haven - specifically with Jane and Julie, we got on, I like them, a lot!

Breast Cancer Haven is now Thirsty Thursday Leeds's nominated charity - watch this space for details of 'Handbags at Dusk', an event planned for the end of October to be hosted by The Woodlands Hotel...

Also new for this week... 'Team Clancy' has expanded and now includes the lovely Jam (short for Jamila, which means 'beautiful', by the way), who is my - unpaid - PR assistant. She wants to get into PR or Politics and she's been paid in some products (Urban Retreat, the gifts we give to girls who join TT. And I've picked her up near her flat and dropped her off at her afternoon, paying, job - along with a sarnie for her lunch - so I hope I'm not taking too much advantage here! I've said to shout up if she thinks I am, which I think she will!

She's ace and a proper natural, so I just hope that the few opportunities I'm introducing her to job-wise will mean she can still help me out, especially with Thirsty Thursday. Her CV listed 'Fitness' and 'Public Affairs' as her interests, so I had a sneaking suspicion we'd get on - which, I'm thrilled to say, we do! I'm a proud member of 'Team Jam' now, too!

Anyway...I may well be feeling the after-effects of this rather different Friday evening, come Saturday morning. But for very, very different reasons than the usual. My evening has consisted of a reflexology session with Rob, and then a Pilates class, and then half an hour in the spa. There was a near-miss as far as a 'sense of humour failure' goes, but then I realised I was just tired, hungry and ready for my sofa and TV. And now I'm good, again. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, you see!


The title of this post is a quote from 'Friends', which I quite like, if you didn't know! It's in 'The One With The Fake Monica', and is said, by Monica, when she doesn't get picked by Phoebe or Rachel to be their partner in the tap class, and has to go up front to dance with the teacher.

Are you sensing where I'm going with this...?!

Oh yes, despite my best intentions to tuck myself as far to the back of the room as was physically possible (it's, I reckon, four years since I last did a Pilates class and back then I only went twice, so to say I'm a novice would be an understatement!), when the time came to do 'partner work', I was left without one...I'm usually pretty good at catching a girl's eye at those moments, but was left somewhat dazed and confused from the 'warm-up', so missed the boat.

I did say "I don't have a partner" when asked by Miranda, the lovely teacher, and then as an aside to the couple I'd be chatting to, "Story of my life"! Hey, don't worry, I'm laughing, not crying!

Now, it wasn't quite as bad as having to work with the teacher, but I did have to go down the front, and, as there was no spare wall space, my Pilates partner, Melvin, and I had to work up against the mirror. A bit of a baptism of fire, wouldn't you say?!

But, I'm delighted to report, it was ace. I loved it! I like Melvin, he may well be a new friend, and I really like Miranda. She's a nice, kind soul, but has a sadistic side too - Melvin reckons she's trying to start a male ballet troupe, and thoroughly enjoys stretching the boys in the class to their limits - literally!

So there we go, something new for today, that did scare me, but I liked it. Perhaps I have a bit of sadistic side too?!

I'm off for my bed shortly - yes, the time is correct for this post, it's just coming up to 10pm - as I'm up early tomorrow and off to Tropical World with the lovely Kate, her nearly three year-old son, Joe, and Connie (her four month-old daughter, not one of my two cats!). Those 'in the know' are aware that 'Connie' isn't my female housemate's real name, anyway!

And also, one of my new rules is 'No computer after 10pm'. Of course there may be the odd exceptions - like when I'm meeting a deadline for the publishers of 'Smiling at Magpies' - but that's the general rule.

Some rules were made to be broken, but not others!

Enjoy your weekends

Clancy xxxx

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Project Clancy...




OK, I have a new role...And before my Mum starts to worry I've not decided to take on another voluntary role or community project (although I am my Mother's Daughter so there are no prizes for guessing where I get this fundamental need to be 'involved' from!).

I am self-appointed Team Leader of Project Clancy, and, before you start to think I'm getting a tad too Narcissistic or self-absorbed (me, never!), this role will enable me to be a much more active, supportive member of Team Fran, Team Jennie, Team Lou, Team Kate, Team Emma, Team Jo (you get the idea!).

I had a little wobble today, if I'm being honest, with the focus of why I'm embarking on this lifestyle change, so thought I'd share with you a fabulous postcard that I picked up at the gym on Sunday (well, I picked up four actually, and they will soon be adorning my office door - along with the 'Manager' name plate that has been there for some months!).

It says it all really, but I'll add a bit more just in case...

Project Clancy is about focus, taking control and learning to relax - but not necessarily in that order. The wobble was solved with a 20 minute session listening to a relaxation CD and a nap. A pint of apple cordial and sparkling water. Two 'Quiet Life' tablets and a Kudzu capsule. Some almonds and wasabi peas (from the launch of the Sesame deli I went to on Monday evening with Gabs). Some music from Bliss. And 20 minutes more of writing 'Smiling at Magpies' - the book.

The reason I'm doing this is to get a book written - at last - but I know in order to be able to do that I have to learn to relax, take time out, chill. My sister Jennie thinks people over the age of 30 can't say 'Chillax' without sounding like a proper loser, but as I'm 18 in my head and she's 12 in hers (and mine) I'll ignore her 'wisdomous' advice and just mentally pull her ginger pig tails (she's ginger you know, not blonde - thank God for hair dye, I say, I'll be having some myself tomorrow to help disguise my 'natural highlights'!). Love you Jen - whether beautiful strawberry blonde as you once were, or stunning bottle blonde bombshell as you are now! X

So that's what Project Clancy is about. Putting me first. Not in a selfish way, but in a self-esteem way. 'Cause then I can be a much better daughter, sister, friend and housemate all round. And get a book written.

Project Clancy has team members, timelines, targets and goals. I've not gone as far as Gantt Charts just yet, but Leigh Tasker (Lou's boyfriend and Dad to Ruben and Berrie) has created the 'AWE' spreadsheet for me, which generates a graph. It's very clever and I think it will be his meal-ticket! More on that another time, perhaps. Anyway, there's a review planned for half-way too. But like people, minds and opinions, it may change. I'm learning to roll with the changes too!

Enjoy your projects.

Clancy xxxx

p.s. One of my wonderfully talented writer friends William Gallagher - he writes for the BBC, amongst others - had this as his status update on facebook earlier today. It made me laugh, so I thought I'd share...

"I've given up hoping to be a less fussy eater. I've crossed it off my Tofu list."

Sunday, 16 August 2009

It's got to beeeeeeeeeee, perfect?


I've been mulling over the concept of perfection for a few days now - well, a bit longer, if I'm being completely honest. But perfect is a word, and perfection is a concept, that have cropped up more regularly over the last week or so, so I decided I'd give it a bit more thought...

*Mindless, meandering drivel alert - only read on if you accept this warning!*

So, let's start with the basics. It's a song that my sister Jennie and I sing regularly (when she's not quad biking on sand dunes, kayaking, climbing Sydney Harbour Bridge on her birthday and other dull as ditchwater pastimes that for some reason seem to have extended her stay Down Under - I'm lost as to why!) at karaoke nights and, of course, on the fabulous SingStar at parties at my house.

Jen and I have many similarities, and an ex of mine once joked that if he lost me, he'd have a spare (he was joking though, I think, and he's a good bloke, so we'll let him off that potential landmine of a remark!), however there are some very key differences. Not least that she's a whizz with letters/numbers games, crosswords, chess - the list goes on, but I did teach her to read by the time she was three, so I can't be jealous - I'm just very proud. But she can sing. I can't. This may change when I start my 'Voice!' workshops with the wonderful Maggi Stratford in September, but for now, Jen definitely has more than the edge on me, so she always does the high bit towards the end.

So, it's a good song. It's about searching for the perfect relationship. And I'm not sure that exists. But, hey, what do I know, eh?! I joked with Jen recently that she'd obviously called me for relationship advice 'cause Elizabeth Taylor wasn't available!

I sang it last night, when round at my friend Pete and Pauline's 10th wedding anniversary party. It made me think about Jen, and I missed her. So, thank God I didn't sing '9 to 5' as I'd have probably cried!

Anyway, so that's the basic level stuff covered, and I never go too deep, but I've had a couple of conversations recently about the concept of being perfect, and the concept of perfection.

My thinking has previously been influenced by the teachings of the Brahma Kumaris (BK) World Spiritual University, where I go for meditation evenings, positive thinking courses and public talks from very wise, very calm speakers. But then I also take teachings, doctrines and any other religious dogma with a bucket load of salt, too. So let's not go too deep here, eh?!

So, the BK belief is that the only perfect being is the Supreme Soul, God, whatever you will, and that no human being can be perfect too. I got this, I liked it, and this is what I believed - until Friday...

As I've said before on facebook, I can be quite easily-led, despite my stubborn, arrogant bloody-mindedness, sometimes, so have to be very careful of who I mix with!

I was having a conversation with my friend Rob, just before he embarked on a reflexology treament on my feet (he's good BTW, find him under 'You First Relaxation' on facebook), about this and his, Buddist-led, belief is that we are all just perfect. We are all just as we are supposed to be, right now. Everything is perfect, because it's how it's supposed to be, right now.

So I guess, yet again, I've reserved the right to change my mind and opinions 'cause I prefer this concept and maybe, just maybe, I'll start going to the Buddist centre in Armley with Casey for a bit instead of BK in Headingley - hey, I could even walk there! And it's not just a woman's prerogative thing either. People change. Minds change. Opinions change. And that's just how it's supposed to be, right now.

Yours perfectly,

Clancy xxxx

p.s. I decided on this photo of me at my friend Jude's wedding on the Isle of Skye last weekend to accompany this post as, if I'm being honest, I think I look quite nice! There, I said it! I also know that my skin is a bit blotchy, my teeth need a good whitening session tonight and I tipped my very first glass of wine of the day down my lovely purple silk frock. Oh well, I guess that's how it was supposed to be, right then!

p.p.s. I'm embarking on a bit of a lifestyle change for a bit, so it may be the last pic of me with a glass of champagne for a little while. I'm hoping my friends will remain, because, let's face it, pretty much all of my close friends have had children now and I've still been their friends whilst they were pregnant, moaning, bitter, hormonal cows. And yes, love, I do mean you Tonko! X